kickassDC

Aggressively trade paint with everyone, even children, at this outdoor raceway.

Cringe from the corniness as you get blitzed on a fake pirate ship sailing around the Potomac.

Relive your childhood without the trauma with a fun scavenger hunt in a D.C. museum or other public location. “Adults-only” scavenger hunts apparently exist.

Learn to create crazy glass sculptures and glasses while playing with insanely high temperatures.

Test your grip strength and tolerance for heights in this newly-built indoor rock climbing gym.

The Supreme Court has a basketball court. Good luck starting a pick-up game… or even getting in.

Every year, professional “speed runners” collect in Northern Virginia to compete in playing or hacking video games as fast as possible while raising millions for charity. All events are streamed live. Perhaps miraculously, sex scandals abound.

Overwhelmingly, ostentatiously, and messily designed in every way, this place takes gaudy Americana to a degree never before seen by human eyes. Themed rooms and secret passages abound. The dining scene here is a lot older, so it’s worth a look, but maybe not a night.

An insanely ornate French lounge with occasional burlesque shows. The food and drink here aren’t worth the effort, but the ambiance is. The usual crowd here is unbearable, so try to go on a slow night.

Washington, D.C.’s best (and only) cat cafe. Drink coffee, eat sweets, and try to make cats tolerate your presence. All cats can be adopted. Reservations are required.