kickassDC

Ever wondered what it was like to live like a head of state in DC? Then book a stay at this Dupont Circle Victorian mansion, which sleeps 14 and was built in the 19th century. Dubbed the “Rosa Parks Safe House” because Rosa Parks often slept across the street at their sister property, the Mansion on O Street, you can hire their private chef and bring your dog along for the trip – it’s pet friendly!

Though it helps to be a member, this club can be found through Cady’s Alley in Georgetown and down the stairs. Created in a European-style, you’ll find an upscale lounge with interesting decor and even more interesting people. Non-members are welcome, though dress is smart casual and you may have a wait and entrance fee, depending on the evening.

On the Virginia side of the Potomac, and nestled behind multi-million dollar homes, you’ll find Great Falls National Park. Worth the short drive or cab, here you’ll find hiking paths, large rock walls perfect for climbing, and plenty of “don’t climb the rocks” signs to ignore. Taking a left after the first viewing point and doing some rock scrambling brings you to some up-close rock perches from which to view the waterfalls.

Just south of DC you (might) find a speakeasy disguised as a donut shop. Captain Gregory’s offers cocktails and atmosphere – if you can find the entrance.

Visitors are welcomed daily at the metro-accessible Franciscan Monastery to tour DC’s catacombs and crypt. In addition to the catacombs – replicated after those in Rome – the grounds have many beautiful gardens to explore.

Not many museums have to start with a caveat explaining why they receive complaints from visitors, but, if you house the “largest collection of human material in the United States,” you’re bound to get a few raised eyebrows. In addition to medical exhibits showing various stages of fetal development (and abnormal development), the museum features examples of medical curiosities. If you’ve ever wondered what a scrotum with Elephantiasis looks like, now’s your chance! The museum is open 10:00 am to 5:30 pm and is accessible from the Red Line (Silver Spring and Forest Glen stations).

A very Russian restaurant featuring infused vodka, ambiance for days, and – for better or worse – live accordion playing.

An adorably decorated Korean bakery right next to a Korean BBQ. The cupcakes are too adorable to eat. Great bingsoo, bubble tea, and pastries.

Ever wanted to rent a huge mansion in the middle of D.C.? This is your place.

Rusty is the biggest badass in America.

Things that Rusty has done, in no particular order:

• Escaped the zoo and explored Adams Morgan for days while the Smithsonian begged people on Twitter to find him
• Gone on “sex vacation” to impregnate another red panda
• Been absolutely adorable

You can visit him at the D.C. Zoo, where he appears to spend most of his time eating and trying to escape.